CTOKOS Blog

In order to have even more time to socialize or to give the married couple some time for pictures or quiet, the trend of cocktail hours has re-emerged. Of course, these aren’t the only reasons that you may want to contemplate a little fun before the actual start of the reception.

For the wedding party

After the rush of pictures and the excitement of the ceremony, a lot of the wedding party can become disheveled and unkempt. By giving them a little time to get freshened up, all of the reception pictures can be just as lovely as the ceremony ones.

Of course, if the wedding party has to transport themselves to the reception hall, a cocktail hour can give them enough time to get there and get organized as well. They can put away anything that they brought with them to the hotel or to the ceremony, plus change into anything that they may have brought with them–more comfortable shoes, for example.

A cocktail hour is a great new way to have a receiving line. The wedding party can meet and greet the guests as they arrive at the reception hall, even show them to their seats if they’d like. This way, the only thing that anyone is waiting on is the bride and groom.

For out of town guests

If you just couldn’t schedule the wedding and the reception back to back, then you may be in luck with having a cocktail hour. When your guests are from out of town, they don’t necessarily want to go back to their hotels before heading over for the reception, so they can have the option of going for light appetizers and cocktails.

This also gives them the opportunity to mingle with everyone in a less intense setting. There won’t be all the dancing and cake cutting, so it can be a lot calmer. Plus if the wedding was earlier, the guests are probably hungry, so you’ll be feeding them as well. And drinks can help to liven up any bunch of people.

A cocktail hour is a great way to warm everyone up and get acquainted before the arrival of the couple and the start of the reception. And since you’re feeding everyone a little something to begin with, you may also be able to have a less complicated dinner menu–if you’re on a budget.

So if you’re deciding on whether or not to have a cocktail hour, why not just do it? It’s an inexpensive way to keep your guests from having grumbling stomachs.

Since the beginning of time, Governments seemed bent on curbing the enthusiasm of the people they ruled. As soon as they noticed people enjoying themselves, it was let’s hasten to the House of Commons and see what we can do about it. Most particularly, they seemed to be for ever meddling with the matters of the heart, wanting to tell people how old they should be before they got married, what place they should select in getting married, and sometimes even what spouse they should choose in order to get married.

In the case of England and Wales of 250 years ago, they insisted that young people wait till they were 21 before the idea of marriage entered their heads. To ensure that everything was on the up and up, the upcoming marriage also had to be made public some weeks before so that anyone knowing of some hidden spouse could make this fact known. And lastly, the only place that the actual marriage could take place was the church, with a properly appointed minister inside it.

Not to seem too heavy-handed, the powers that be did suggest that if you simply couldn’t wait till you turned 21 you could seek your parent’s permission. And as for the rest, if you had the money to buy a special licence which would cost you an arm and a leg, you could get around some of the other points of law.

To the 18 year old 21 seemed as far away as the next century. And as for parental consent, forget it. Ever conservative, a parent never saw anything but practical common sense in the whole legal arrangement.

Across the border of England to the north, lived the good people of Scotland who saw and felt for the plight of the lovers. Themselves refusing to be bound by the idiosyncrasies of the English law, they continued to allow civil marriages which required nothing more than the couples declaring before witnesses their wish to be married.

So the chant of all couples in a hurry to be married was, ‘Let’s to Scotland’. And since Gretna Green was right on the border of Scotland and England, Gretna Green became the town you drove to when marriage was on your mind and you didn’t want to wait to satisfy all the rules and regulations of the English legal system.

Since at Greta Green any venue would do, the local blacksmith who was usually on hand to see to the horses and the coach from which the passengers alighted, was usually only too willing, and always able, to help out. A bit of a showman, as the couples finished their vows, he would strike the anvil with his hammer and would call out something in Scottish dialect which may or may not have been, ‘By the strike of this anvil you are wed’.

It would be pleasant to think that these happy events have survived right to our day. But, in fact, such is not the case. Sure you can go to the romantic Gretna Green to make your vows to each other. But law and order has a long reach, and it has as much of a stronghold in Scotland now, as it has everywhere else.

Vlady Peters is an Australian Civil Marriage Celebrant authorised to perform marriages in Australia. She also perform general ceremonies such as Baby Naming, Renewal of Vows and Commitment Ceremonies. To learn more about her as a celebrant and an author visit vlady at http://www.weddings-celebrant.com

Ah, a craze that’s really been embraced over the last few years. Monograms embrace the idea of unity as two couples initials are intertwined — and become one. In addition, monograms provide an elegant reminder of your new lives as man and wife.

Brides can employ monograms prior to, during, and after the wedding reception. Your guests will be blown away by the amount of effort you put into the dramatic visuals. If you’re wondering if there’s actually such a thing as a ‘monogram themed wedding,’ the answer is “yes.” If you decorate all of your reception with monograms, it clearly be seen as a themed wedding that embraces the unity between a man and his wife.

There are several ideas for use of your monograms. It’s always a good idea to utilize the ideas of others and incorporate your own creativity. This will make your own wedding theme a success. Here is an example of the many places you can have them ‘pop up’ prior to and during the reception:

Wedding Invitations Custom Postage Stamps Envelope Seals Accent to Bride’s Garter Table Linen Napkins Place-cards Aisle Runners Guestbook Ring Bearer’s Pillow Flower Girl’s Basket Coasters Centerpieces Champagne Flute Glasses Cake Accessory Cake Cutter Bottled Water Label Wedding Favors

Now that you’ve gotten an idea of where you can bare your emblem, we have to ask: are you a traditional person by nature? If so, than you may want this little tip on wedding etiquette. Sometimes monograms are frowned upon if they’re used prior to the wedding reception. So, if you’re a traditional gal, you may wish to skip the use of monograms on your wedding invites and wait for the reception.

Remember anything can be overdone. While you want everyone to notice your monograms, make sure that they’re not redundant in color and location. Spread them out and make them look elegant. Table linens and floral pieces with monograms may look beautiful separated from one another, but they may look ‘too busy’ if placed one together.

Use your best judgement when organizing and decorating for your reception. Accessorize the colors of ribbon, linens, and floral arrangements, with the colors of your monogram. Your wedding favors too, should include a monogram, as it’s a very personal touch . Some ideas include personalized wedding frames, candy bars, colas, or candles that bare your monogram. It’s a thoughtful gift that your loved ones will treasure.

“Presence is more than just being there,” states Malcolm S.Forbes. How true!

Have you ever been talking with someone and felt that they were miles away even though they were sitting next to you? They might have appeared to be listening, but you could sense that they weren’t really mentally and emotionally present in the conversation.

We all have moments when our mind wanders and we lose focus, but if this happens frequently, our relationships with others will be negatively affected. In a marriage, intimacy is enhanced by feelings of connection and harmed when partners start feeling disconnected.

When a spouse is physically present but mentally “out to lunch,” the partner will feel the difference. Something important is missing, and what is missing is the spouse’s full attention to the conversation or activity. Often, the distracted spouse is feeling rushed, bored, impatient, or stressed. When that happens, the natural tendency is to constantly mentally leap ahead to the next items on the “to do” list.

If this describes you, then you are missing the experience you are having right now because you are so focused on what you’re gong to do next. By living in the future, you miss the present. Besides robbing yourself of the enjoyment of the current experience, you are also negatively impacting how others feel when they are around you.

“I’ll make it up to him (or her) later,” you may tell yourself as you rush through yet another conversation without really looking at your spouse closely or hearing what’s really being said. In the mean time, the feeling of disconnection between the two of you grows and intensifies.

One of the ways you can show respect and caring for your spouse is to give the gift of undivided attention. Likewise, you show respect and caring for yourself when you value connecting deeply with others, and that can only be accomplished in the Now. One of the best presents you can give others and yourself is to practice being fully present in your life.

It takes practice and discipline to pull yourself back to the present moment when your mind jumps ahead into the future. Breaking any long-standing habit is difficult and can take weeks, even months, of practice. But the pay-off for learning to live more of your life consciously and with more awareness of the present moment is significant.

Until you can learn to listen intently and focus your total attention on the other person, you are not connecting at the deepest, most intimate level. As Mary Catherwood observes, “Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet.” This is the tragedy that befalls many marriages.

Follow these five tips to be more present when you interact with your spouse:

1. Stop what you are doing and look at your partner when he/she is talking to you. This shows respect and will make it easier to keep focused.

2. When your mind wanders, gently re-direct it back to the present moment. Take a deep breath to help you stay anchored and centered.

3. Ignore stray thoughts that flit across your mind, trying to distract you. If you don’t give them attention, they won’t “hook” you.

4. If you are too distracted to concentrate, tell your spouse, “It’s really important to me to focus on what you’re saying, and I can’t seem to concentrate right now. Could we schedule a time to talk later today?”

5. Keep the bigger picture in mind. You are investing time and energy into creating satisfying intimacy with your spouse. Each interaction either adds a deposit to the intimacy “piggy bank” or makes a withdrawal from it.

Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says “I don’t love you anymore!” This is available as an e-book at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com ,where you can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine. Nancy can be contacted at Nancy@KeepYourMarriage.com.

An important decision you’ll make during the course of creating your perfect wedding is that of wedding reception music. After all, what’s a wedding reception without music? Do you hire a band, hire a DJ, or just throw on some tunes for everyone to dance to? The choice is all up to you from what type of music you want at your reception to how it’s delivered.

One possibility that a number of people opt for is to hire a band to provide their wedding reception music. A lot of working “cover bands” (musicians that specialize in performing spot-on renditions of popular songs) are available to work wedding receptions. The cost for hiring a band varies according to the experience and popularity of the band itself. A band that is highly skilled tends to be highly sought after and therefore more expensive to hire. A live band brings a certain level of excitement to the party atmosphere of a wedding reception and your guests are sure to enjoy the interactivity that comes along with live wedding reception music.

Some couples forgo the band in favor of hiring a DJ for their wedding. The advantages of hiring a DJ as compared to a band are threefold. First of all, a DJ tends to cost much less to hire than an entire band does. In addition to the monetary savings, the DJ will have access to original recordings of popular songs. Your guests can shimmy to Baby Got Back or The Locomotion by the original artists rather than a rendition performed by an unknown singer. Additionally, the DJ will have access to a far greater number of recordings than any band is likely to have in its repertoire. For these reasons many couples enjoy hiring a DJ to supply their wedding reception music.

Another option is to simply supply the wedding reception music yourself. Armed with a computer that is equipped with a CD burner you can create CD’s full of .mp3 files to play at the reception. Because of the .mp3 file compression, nearly ten hours of music can be squeezed onto one CD. You can choose exactly what songs you want, place them on the CD in the order that you like, and just pop it in to play at the reception. This is possibly the most cost effective option as it will cost very little or nothing at all to compile the CD. The downsides are that you’re left with just a group of songs and no live interactivity whatsoever and you must have a specific type of CD player in order to play a disc full of .mp3 files. You will also need to provide a decent sound system unless the reception hall happens to come equipped with one.

There are a number of options available for providing music for your wedding reception. Choosing which one is right for you is merely a matter of deciding what you want and what you can afford.

Kirsten Hawkins is an event planner from Nashville, TN. Visit www.wedding411.net/ for more event planning tips, strategies, and resources.

There are many times when anger can be a very good thing.

Periodically, when you experience anger (especially if you are able to always maintain control) you may find it can lead to passion, commitment and determination.

Anger can also lead to stubborn, pig-headed and unreasonable as well.

Anger can be good and it can be bad but as a general rule of thumb, anger never mixes well with a divorce.

Divorce is a brutal business. It ranks right up there among the five most stressful things a person can experience in a lifetime. Regardless if you are the one that left, or the one that remains behind, you are undoubtedly very hurt and confused with lots of unanswered questions.

One of the keys to getting past messy divorce is learning how to deal with the anger. Emotions are raw enough during a divorce. If you allow yourself to become angry during a conversation with an ex, you can be assured that it will only be a matter of time before something is said that you will both regret.

Just because the ex maybe getting mad or upset at you, does not mean you should return the favor in kind.

If you are talking with your spouse on the telephone about a particularly difficult topic and you want to remain calm, imagine that your child is standing right next to you, watching and hearing everything you say and do. Would you like your child to have this image of you? Would you like them to remember you this way?

If you think you may have a problem controlling your anger, you should visit the American Psychological Association website at http://www.apa.org

Gary Kelly is co-creator of the online dating website for golfers, http://www.DateAGolfer.com and http://www.PuttingForPar.com, a golf website specializing in personalized ball markers

After the initial euphoria of love gets over, lovers start thinking about what troubles them. For example, your partner may always be coming late to meet you. you never told him/her about that till now. You feel that now you must tell, because you cannot bear waiting every time.

You are troubled by a habit of your darling. But that was always ignored in the initial euphoria of knowing each other and developing relationship. You want to point out about that habit now.

You are facing a problem at your work place. You have kept that problem away from your sweetheart. Now you feel that you need his/her support to fight that problem. These are few examples of what happens in the second phase of love. How to discuss such issues with your beloved and whether they will affect your relationship?

When love matures a little, it is time to find out about how much both of you are ready to support each other and what is the quality of love that you share. If the love is only skin deep, a small problem will take it away and that is good. Otherwise you might have continued in a relationship that would have been of no use to you. If the love is strong, discussing personal issues and problems will bring you closer to each other.

Many of us hesitate to discuss any problem. They don’t want the love to get affected at any cost. But is that love or a pretension of love? If you truly love each other, you must be open with each other. Why live in a make believe world? A close relationship demands that both of you talk about and help each other at all times. If that does not happen, love is of no use and should be discarded. After all you are searching for a partner, who will be with you through thick and thin and vice-versa. Test your Love Relationship to find out the strength of your love. Many Internet Websites are offering tests and quizzes. Look at few of them and begin your test to find out about your strength of love.

CD Mohatta writes advice and articles on Love, Marriage and Dating This website is a guide on dating, love, relationship, romance, marriage, and break ups. He also writes for ecards and online greetings, screensavers and desktop wallpapers. You can have his writings on your desktop with free desktop wallpapers. These are static wallpapers which can be your computer desktop background all the time. Read the messages and get inspired all day. He also writes content for Tests and Quiz on Dating, Personality and Love.

Weddings as we know is where a bride and groom stands at the altar taking their vows pledging undying love for each other but not all countries do the same as we. Worldwide country cultures and beliefs differ greatly in the way they celebrate their wedding night.

Did you know that after a marriage has taken place some couples wedding night never goes according to plan due to all the activities concocted up by friends and family in a quest to upset the newlyweds plans of becoming one in the marital suite as early as they would like.

In the US it is habitual after the reception for the couple to jump into the vehicle that waits to take them on honeymoon only to find that the rear end of the car is fully geared up with rattling tin cans.

Tradition for the Gaelic culture is where close friends and family set out to delay the couple consummating their marriage in a fun sort of way. In the good old days the married couple would spend their wedding night in a hay barn. Close lady friends of the bride would dress her for bed and would invite every male species who attended the wedding to kiss her goodnight. What they did in the old days to add fun to the night would be things of disturbance making it hard for the groom to meet up with his new wife. When the couple finally come together noises would bellow from outside the barn with its (peephole) thus adding further embarrassment to the newlyweds.

It is just a matter of time when the alcohol kicks in sending the pranksters to sleep. Is it any wonder why in those days the honeymoon destination was kept a secret.

Other Celtic Scottish rituals performed on the wedding night was the sprinkling of water onto the bed which was considered to bring good luck.

Inhabitants of Germany and France uphold similar traditions where their disturbances on the wedding night are called Chiverie. The US spell it Shivaree, they also cause havoc by decorating the bridal suite with balloons or laying food all over the bed just for fun. A love in surrounded by crumbs is not very romantic.

They say when in Rome do as the Romans do but whatever you do dont fall as it is seen as bad luck if the bride takes a tumble on entering the newly weds first home. After the roman wedding all male friends of the married couple would carry the bride over the threshold. But times have changed where the groom has the pleasure, in saying that; he may need to ask for assistance if his bride is the size of Bessie Bunter.

In western Africa, (Benin), virginity is valued highly. The brides mother compensates her with money if still untouched by man on her wedding night! This may sound alarming but the sheets are checked for blood smears the next morning after the wedding night. I did say things were done differently in other countries and this just happens to be the custom in Benin. Sometimes the sheets were flown like flags from the window to show that the daughter never gave into temptation submitting her body to any other.

A Chinese wedding night consists of beautifully designed candles shaped like a phoenix and dragon to force away evil spirits. Wine is drunk from goblets tied together with a scarlet red sash while at the same time the newlyweds have their arms intertwined. It is now when the bride is handed half-raw dumplings which denotes prosperity.

Wait for it no ration on passion for brides from Marquesasian (Polynesia) who are expected to have sex with all the male guests - Heaven for bid if the numbers are great - the groom finally gets to sleep with his bride last. Depending on the number of male guests surely this could go on for quite some time but at the end of the day I suppose the wait will be worthwhile because it is the groom who gets to sleep with her for the rest of his life.

Down by the Darkside Inside the breezeway Where my thoughts are all turned inside With no words I could say Why my heart just could not feel What my eyes could never see All the lies seemed so real All the things I should be Though I know I never was Was it all because I was walking down by the Darkside Yeah, I was down by the Darkside Down by the Darkside Where it seems all the fools live I was hanging out there at a low tide I had come there to forgive To forgive myself for my own soul’s burning And for the way it’s always been Cuz I was just never learning Just remembering where and when Through all the good and the bad times And all the whiskey, drugs and rhymes Rolling fast into the Darkside Yeah, I was down by the Darkside Down by the Darkside Where the street lights never shine Where the girls love a fast ride And all live on money, sex and wine You can stand here and listen to their chatter And all the stories they tell Pretending nothing really matters And then end their sentences with “Oh well” So I have my palace down in this place And a P.O. Box in case I loose the race Cause I’m a king down by the Darkside Yeah, I was down by the Darkside Down by the Darkside The marriage party is full with laughter Where the idiot and his new bride Will drown themselve with “Happy Ever Afters” But like a buzzard the blind groom flies On an endless tyrade Strewn with all his broken-hearted lies Across the living hell he has made Was it meant to be all that it was Or was it only just because They held their wedding down by the Darkside Yeah, I was down by the Darkside

http://www.originalpoetry.com/down-by-the-darkside

Are you in the process of choosing a wedding invitation for your wedding? This can be a tricky process and one that should be thought about carefully. The wedding invitations that you send will be the first impression that people will have of your wedding and you want to have a good first impression.

Time

One of the first and most important considerations for your wedding invitation should be the time that the wedding will take place. If you are having your wedding in the winter or fall your invitations will look very different then spring wedding invitations. Below are some common ideas and tips that will help you make the right decision.

Fall Wedding Invitations

If your wedding will take place in the fall or winter time then you will want to theme your wedding invitations to fit the season. It would not make sense to have an invitation with spring lilies on it for example. For some of the typical fall wedding invitation ideas think about what fall means to you. The weather is getting colder outside and the leaves are all turning beautiful shades of red, browns, and deep yellows and falling from the trees. There might already be snow on the ground and it is the time to start snuggling up next to a warm fire and a very traditional time for lovers and family with the winter holidays on the way. These are the feelings that you will want to portray in your fall or winter wedding invitations.

Colors: browns, greens, gold, or white or even off white

Decoration and motifs: wide burgundy ribbons and bows, fall leaves, pine cones, pine trees, gold leaf, embossing and watermarks

Papers: you will want a paper with some tooth or texture to it. Heavy weight or heavy bond papers work well and give it a wonderful fall feel. Also papers with a deckled or unfinished edge are a nice touch. Burlap can even be used if thought about and used carefully.

There are a lot of different options if you are looking for cheap or discount fall wedding invitations for the fall season. You can easily make the invitations on your computer. Also if you look online you can easily find a ton of suppliers that will make discount wedding invitations. These can be a great way to save money.

Spring Wedding Invitations

Typically spring is a time of new life, bright new colors and blooming flowers! These are all things that you will want to pick up in your spring themed wedding invitations. No matter what you are looking for elegant spring wedding invitations or a more simple or even discount spring wedding invitations you will still want to capitalize on the time of year. Again you will want to think about what spring means to you and your fiancée.

Colors: any shade of pink, light greens, silver, and of course pure white

Decorations and Motifs: flowers like lilies or roses, tulips and daises. Butterflies and birds also work well.

Papers: thick white papers with a heavy bond work well. Also handmade papers with pressed flowers can make a wonderful spring invitation.

Summer Wedding Invitations:

If you are planning on getting married in the summer months then of course you will want a summer wedding invitation. These can be anything in a wide range of possibilities from the fun and whimsical summer invitation to the more formal invitation. IT again really depends on what summer means to you. You might think of fun sunny days spent at the beach or relaxing days spent out in the garden.

Colors: pastel colors in pinks, light blues, pure white and yellows

Decorations: beach items, raffia, tool (fabric), light muslin cloth,

Papers: vellum, light weight or light bond papers, handmade papers with pressed flowers,

A wedding invitation can be a very fun yet important part of the wedding planning. Since it is so important and it will act as the first impression that your guests will have of the wedding and often will become a memory or keepsake item for you it is important to spend some time thinking about the right option for you. You can easily pick up on the theme of your wedding and especially bring in the time of year. A dark velvety red wedding invitation will obviously look out of place for a summer wedding.

It doesn’t matter if you are looking for a fall, winter, spring or summer wedding invitation there are a lot of ways that you can find affordable discount wedding invitations and there is always the option to make them yourself. DIY wedding invitations are becoming more popular all the time. So if you are sending out fall wedding invitations, spring invitations or summer invitations you are sure to find a wide variety of colors, decorations, and papers that will work for you. By planning ahead and shopping carefully or even making it yourself you are sure to save big money and have a wonderfully themed wedding invitation.

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