CTOKOS Blog

Undoubtedly, the groom will want to choose a few good menoften his brothers, college buddies, and best friendsto carry out all of the responsibilities traditionally assigned to the guys. Once your fiancé has picked his team, he’ll have to give them a few pointers on just what their roles and responsibilities are, so here’s the lowdown.

A Friend in Deed

Let’s start with the best man (the head groomsman) since his role is so crucial. The best man is an all-purpose kind of guyfriend, organizer, coach, confidantwith a lot of responsibilities.

In general, he must make sure that the wedding goes off without a hitch. When the groom feels stressed, he is ready with encouragement and a good sense of humor.

Traditionally, it is the best man who is in charge of organizing the bachelor party and making all travel arrangements for the bride and groom. He makes sure the groom and other groomsmen get fitted for and pick up their formalwear. He is also expected to supervise the other groomsmen and ushers, serve as an official witness to the vows, safeguards the ring and marriage license just before the wedding, and pay the clergyman’s fee (which the groom quietly slips to him before the ceremony).

After the ceremony, he makes sure the wedding party lines up properly for the “wedding parade” through town, if one is planned. At the reception, he serves as the master of ceremonies, proposes the first toast, and remains on hand to ensure that all subsequent speeches are both short and sweet. His final duty is to return all the rented tuxes.

INCIDENTALIn case it should happen that several notable people would like to offer a toast, here is the order of the speakers: best man, groom’s dad, bride’s dad, groom, bride, maid of honor, groom’s mom, bride’s mom, other friends and relatives.

And a Few Good Men

Of course, the other groomsmen or ushers are also important members of the wedding party. The are, in effect, the couples hospitality committee. Although groomsmen often do double-dutyserving as ushers before and after the ceremonyin may cases, at large weddings, for example, there are two sets of men: groomsmen and ushers. (The general rule is one usher for every 50 guests.) In these instances, it is the ushers who seat the guests, and it is they who make the first impression on guests as they arrive.

Ushers greet the guests and escort them on the proper side of the church. As tradition would have it, when a female guest arrives (whether she is alone or not), one of the ushers should step forward, extend his right arm, and escort her to her seat, followed by her spouse or date. (I am in favor of the more modern sentiment which suggests that this approach is incompatible with the whole concept of marriage and that the husband should not be relegated to trailing behind this temporary pair.)

Before walking toward the pews, the usher should ask which side of the church she would like to be seated on, the bride’s or groom’s. Generally, the right side of the church is reserved for the guests of the groom. Her relatives and friends are usually escorted to the right.

In a Jewish ceremony, this seating arrangement is reversed. And if one side appears to be filling up and the other side has noticeably few occupants, then this rule should be abandoned for the sake of appearances.

Incidentally, in keeping with the spirit of the occasion, ushers should not escort guests to their seats in total silence, as if this were a solemn affair. This is a time for a few casual and friendly, yet dignified and quiet remarks.

Pews are filled from front to back, leaving the first several reserved for family members and close friends of the bride and groom. Just minutes before the ceremony is scheduled to begin, two of the ushers should escort the groom’s mother and then the bride’s mother to their seats. After the ceremony, they escort these ladies down the aisle.

It is the groomsmen who should be available to assist the bride’s mother with any last minute details. Just before the bride makes her entrance, they should unroll the aisle runner. Another important duty of these men of chivalry is to arrange for transportation of the bridesmaids to the wedding site.

After the ceremony, as everyone heads off to the reception, it is their responsibility to ensure that no one is left behind. And, because they are largely responsible for making sure that a good time is had by all, they are expected to introduce guests to each other.

Modern day armor

What the groomsmen wear is largely determined by the formality or informality of the ceremony, and to a lesser extent by considerations such as location and time of day.

These days, most grooms, groomsmen and ushers rent their formalwear. The groom and his men should order their tuxes at least three months before the wedding. If possible, they should select a local shop, just in case last minute alterations are needed.

The groom and his men usually wear the same attire. To set himself apart, the groom may select a different colored tie, vest, pocket square, or boutonniere.

Sometimes the groom will present a memorable gift, such as cufflinks, studs or, if he can afford to splurge, monogrammed shirts, to be worn by these men of honor at the wedding. Given all that they are expected to do, the groom should indeed go out of his way to show his appreciation, even in advance, for a job well done.

© Copyright 2005 Bachcroft.com. Permission to reprint this article, as is, is granted as long as the proper attribution (author’s biography) is given and all active hyperlinks remain intact.

Don’t be intimidated if you’ve been chosen as the maid of honor for your friend’s wedding and your greatest fear is planning the bridal shower! There are plenty easy wedding shower ideas to get you started and make the whole process go smoothly.

The most popular wedding shower idea is the kitchen shower, and it’s really the most practical as well. After all, no one can have too many kitchen utensils or appliances, and there is also a host of nice little gourmet treats that the bride would love to be gifted with.

A personal shower is also nice, with everyone giving the bride a gift of lingerie or accessories such as inexpensive jewelry. She might also like something like a skin treatment gift set, cosmetics, or bath powder and perfume.

When most people think of wedding showers, they do tend to think of tradition - a group of ladies getting together in someone’s home or at a restaurant or tea room. Lots of decorations, some games and gifts. This is a wonderful concept, but if you’re busy it can be hard to pull off. That’s why there’s a new trend in easy wedding shower ideas - activity based showers. We don’t mean rock-climbing (unless you want to) - we mean a girl’s day out.

Call a local day spa and ask if you can book an afternoon for pedicures and manicures for the whole crew. This is especially nice if you are having a small shower for close friends. You can all talk and giggle and feel spoiled, then duck out for a drink and open gifts afterward. No muss, no fuss, no clean-up or decorating for you. And every guest leaves feeling special!

You can do the same with a cosmetics counter at a fine department store - call ahead and explain that you have several women who want makeovers and do a day of bonding over shopping. In some cases, the makeup company will even throw in some free gifts for the wedding party or bride. It’s fun and inexpensive, and again you can follow up with dinner or drinks. Not to mention everyone gets a new look for the wedding day!

Celebrating under the attentive care of Bahamas honeymoon resorts, there might be no better way to commence a marriage. Consisting of over 700 mostly-uninhabited islands, Bahamas has a lot of territory to encounter during your trip. Bahamas honeymoon packages can put you in touch with several different tropical paradises during any given vacation. You will never be without something new to experience. Even your second or third Bahamas honeymoon will be as fresh and unique as the first.

Every travel agency has its own selection of Bahamas honeymoon packages, so it is worthwhile to shop around and find the one that reaches your highest expectations. Whether it’s snorkeling in the sea or sunning on the silvery sand, the memories forged by a Bahamas honeymoon will remain with you for a lifetime.

The balmy, tropical atmosphere invites you to relax and enjoy life. At just about any given time you will be surrounded by the clear, blue sea on one side, with another sea of flourishing green vegetation on the other. Nature trails and guided tours immerse you into our truly genuine habitat: the great outdoors.

There is as much to explore under the water as above. Scuba diving and snorkeling are very fun and enlightening ways to pass the time. Experienced instructors guide you through a pristine underwater environment where you can explore a coral reef or maybe a shipwreck. Meet face-to-face with amazing underwater (aliens?) life forms including, yes, sharks!

Fine dining is an essential ingredient to a Bahamas honeymoon package. Restaurants offering gourmet preparation of the freshest local seafood prevail on the islands. Often spicy and always flavorful, Bahamian cuisine combines elements from around the world. The resulting seafood dishes are unlike anything else.

For more upbeat entertainment, casinos and nightclubs are a common scene on the islands. If you and your loved one would like to party with the pack, be sure your Bahamas honeymoon package puts you near one of the more enlivened districts. If crowds are not your thing, don’t fret. Plenty of secluded Bahamas honeymoon resorts are set peacefully apart from the masses, diligently catering to that special romantic moment, every moment of the day.

Bahamas is a sovereign nation, which means there are some minor restrictions involved with entry. The premium tourism destination that it is, however, means the rules are lenient and there isn’t much to be concerned with for typical Bahamas honeymoons. A passport and visa aren’t usually required, but verify with your travel agent exactly what paperwork you should bring to stay out of trouble. And most importantly of all, have fun!

© Copyright Randy Wilson, All Rights Reserved.