CTOKOS Blog

Is debt consolidation the most fitting solution for me? As we are in a recession (according to the Ernst & Young ITEM Club Autumn forecast), there’s a real need for individuals with debt problems to understand what is different between debt consolidation loans and the various other financial solutions available - and realise which one might be the best solution for them.

First of all, it hangs on what the future holds. In a recession, it’s more likely than usual to be bad news - when consumer spending lowers and businesses lose money, many businesses are forced to make people redundant in order to save the firm. For anyone who’s got an idea their company might be laying off staff, consolidating their debts may not be the best idea.

Why is that? One of debt consolidation’s top benefits is the opportunity to lower a persons monthly debt repayments. A debt consolidation loan is most effective when the individual is in a fairly stable financial situation: when they know how much they are earning and how much they’re spending every month, they are able to work out the ideal way of paying back their debt.

So a person facing the possibility of unemployment could be better off looking into debt management, rather than a debt consolidation loan. Debt management offers a flexible approach to debt: borrowers are allowed to ask debt management professionals to get in contact with their creditors on their behalf, asking them to consider accepting lower monthly payments, remove charges and/or freeze interest.

IVAs require a lot of commitment and can require householders to free up some of the equity in their house. Borrowers are required to commit to making fixed monthly payments for (often) six years, based on the maximum they can afford when they’ve taken their needed expenses into account. Even so, an IVA (Individual Voluntary Arrangement) might make a big difference - for people whose debts have steadily got out of control, as well as individuals faced with a severe fall in income. Granted, IVAs do require a level of financial stability: if the person does not feel they are able to commit to five years of regular payments, an Individual Voluntary Arrangement may not be the perfect debt solution for them.

When you’re planning a wedding, you don’t want to forget the gift table. Not only will this be covered with your presents and money gifts, but it will also be out in the open. And although you don’t want to think that anything could happen, you might want to put a few precautions in place.

Better to be safe

The gift table is best kept safe by being out in the open, where everyone can see it. You might want the deejay next to it, or at least nearby, because people will be going up that way all evening.

However, you also want to keep the gift table somewhere where your guests can find it to deposit their gifts or cards. A nice slit top box works well for cards (maybe you could put a locked tin inside so that no one can peek except you) and a card table with a table cloth is fine for the wrapped gifts.

You may also want to have the guest registry next to the gift table so that you have an idea of how many presents should be there when you finally get to opening them. If there seems to be a discrepancy, then you will be able to find out if something was lost or stolen.

What to do with the gifts at the end of the night

You will need to have a plan or someone in place to take care of the gifts once the reception is over. You may want to enlist one of the members of your bridal party to load them into their car and drive them to the hotel, or perhaps, a parent can take them in order to have a brunch the next morning–where you open the gifts for everyone.

Either way, you will want to store them somewhere safe. It’s generally not a good idea to leave them in a car overnight. First of all, a car is easily broken into and two, you don’t know if the gifts are sensitive to temperature changes. You don’t want to ruin anything.

The gift table is just another detail that you want to be aware of. Most of the time, there are no problems with people upsetting the gifts or raiding the envelopes, but if it makes you feel better to have a back up plan in place, go right ahead.

Amy Spade is an expert on planning weddings, and she has written an amazing totally free minicourse on how to make sure that you have the day of your dreams, and avoid wedding day disaster!

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Love should not blind a couple to the realities of their legal status of husband and wife, for they are bound by an unwritten contract of marriage governed by the laws of the federal government, the state they live in and the decisions of the judiciary. Every bride and groom must learn that the state is at the altar with them.

You would never sign a contract without reading it or seeking an attorney’s advice. Those about to marry, however, have never been told how important the fine print is. No options are offered, no negotiation allowed, and no warranties extended, express or implied, when you say “I do.”

If all the terms were fully disclosed, who knows if you would sign on the dotted line without further negotiations? Take the test below to evaluate your knowledge of the marriage contract.

The Marriage Test

* Do you know how state law controls the property you acquire during your marriage?

* Do you know what interest the state says your spouse has in the income-producing (i.e. interests, dividends, rents) assets you owned before marriage?

* If your spouse died without a will, do you know if your state would require you to share your marital estate with his parents or siblings?

* Do you know how debts or obligations your spouse has before marriage can impact your pocketbook after marriage?

* Do you know if your marriage is the victim, or potential victim, of the “marriage penalty tax” in the Internal Revenue Code?

* If you move into a home that one of you already owns, do you know what the tax ramifications of transferring title to a new spouse could be?

* Do you know what interest your state says your spouse has in any inheritance or personal injury award you receive?

* If you move to another state after your marriage, do you know how the assets you own can be affected?

* If you and your spouse executed a will in one state but moved to another, do you know what potential impact this could have on your estate plan?

* If this is a remarriage for either of you, do you know how benefits from a prior marriage, such as alimony, social security benefits, pensions, retirement benefits, medical insurance, will be affected by your new legal status?

* If you or your spouse have children from a prior marriage, did you know that some states differentiate between children of a current marriage and children from a prior marriage when someone dies without a will?

You may believe the idea of a premarital agreement is unromantic, but marriage itself is a contract between man, woman and the state. Often, it isn’t until death or dissolution of the relationship that couples find how intrusive the state-controlled marriage laws can be.

The state’s marriage contract is influenced by old-fashioned assumptions about the American family, assumptions that have little basis in today’s reality. No matter how distasteful this control is, our intimate personal relationships are regulated by duties and responsibilities determined by the legislatures and the courts.

Marriage, even in the midst of the changes in our society today, is here to stay. For those whose faith in the institution of marriage remains hopeful, the secret to success is knowledge of the legal and financial ramifications of the union.

An understanding of how assets acquired in marriage are owned, both during the marriage and upon death or dissolution, is fundamental. The fifty states are divided into separate and community property states. However, within each state, the rules vary widely and are continually reevaluated as society demands.

Do you know what the laws of your state are? If not, check out loveandthelaw.com for an inexpensive and easy way to find out.

The love and the law newsletter is written by Johnette Duff, Attorney at Law*

Copyright 2004 by Johnette Duff

Ms. Duff is licensed in the State of Texas

Attention attorneys, to advertise on loveandthelaw.com contact mailto:susyjsmith@aol.com

If you would like to receive new articles please e-mail us at mailto:info@loveandthelaw.com

About The Author

Johnette Duff is the author of The Spousal Equivalent Handbook: a legal and financial guide to living together, The Marriage Handbook: a legal and financial guide to your spousal rights, and Love After 50: a legal and financial guide. Nationally, she has appeared on Today, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning and in various publications promoting information on love and the law. Ms. Duff has recently opened a web site titled, love and the law. johnetteduff@aol.com

One of the top priorities on a wedding day is to make sure every moment is captured with great photographs. These once-in-a-lifetime memories are irreplaceable and making sure these photographs are properly stored and displayed after the wedding should be just as important. Chances are photographs placed in an album are protected but how about your framed photographs?

Whether you decide to display photographs in an album or frame, it is important they are manufactured from acid-free or archival-safe materials in order to protect and preserve your photographs for the future. While most photo albums sold are made to these high standards, the same cannot be said for the majority of frames sold in retail stores.

Protecting your framed photographs requires the same acid-free materials used in archival-safe photo albums but also requires an additional layer of protection. This extra protection is in the form of UV (ultraviolet) protected glass. It becomes a necessity because photographs and artwork in a frame are subject to damage from UV light from the sun and/or household lights. If unprotected, photographs and artwork will prematurely age and yellow.

One of the easiest ways to judge the quality of a frame is based on price. Low end, low cost frames will definitely not have these protective materials, while a photo-safe quality frame can run from $80 dollars up into the hundreds. This is a not a hard and fast rule, so when in doubt, ask.

An example of this is the popular Signature Frame couples use at a wedding, where friends and family sign the frame instead of a guestbook. It can be purchased at many stores for as little as $15 dollars and is not manufactured using photo-safe materials. Other stores using high quality framing materials may charge over $100 dollars for a frame that may look almost identical but will incorporate the acid-free and UV protective glass. This is one of the occasions where you do get what you pay for and unknowing brides will be dismayed to find their bargain wedding keepsake yellowing and fading within years of their wedding day.

While the initial costs of a quality picture frame are higher, it is hard to put a price on preserving special memories. Consider the joy and happiness a framed memory can bring which will be displayed and viewed for years or decades to come. This makes framing a great value compared to photographs displayed in an album that are seldom seen and appreciated.

For special memories, like wedding or anniversary photographs that are not easily replaced, a quality frame will protect them so they will be around for a long time.
This extra investment now will pay dividends for a lifetime of great framed memories.

Shar Calder is the president of First Class Framing, a picture framing company providing affordable high-quality frames for all of life’s special celebrations. http://www.firstclassframing.com

Whoever said that planning a wedding had to be serious and stressful? With a western themed wedding, you can experience a whole new idea together while making it as unique as you want it to be.

For a western themed wedding, location is everything. Think about having your wedding in an “old west town”, which are located throughout the Midwest and usually offer wedding packages at a cost. You can also find an open prairie and use tents and backdrops that you have designed yourselves. Or just decorate an old country church and reception hall. The important thing is to find your own style and preferences and then incorporate them into your wedding.

Decoration will be your visual focal point for this type of ceremony. To create the ambiance of a western themed wedding, use gold bows, which can be found at Christmas time. You can also use hay bales for guest seating, drive away in a horse drawn carriage and use country music or western movie themed music at your ceremony.

Once you have the ceremony details worked out and you know for sure this is what you both want, began thinking about your attire for your western themed wedding. Watch old western movies to see what brides wore, such as heavy fabrics, long sleeves and a lot of lace. For the groom you could go simple with blue jeans, a brown vest and a brown jacket, of course worn with a hat, boots and spurs. For the bridesmaids, western themed weddings are known for keyhole, dark dresses usually worn with lace up boots. Instead of having them hold a big bouquet of attendant flowers, hand-make headbands adorned with flowers and ribbon.

To decorate your guests’ tables, use your imagination to create the western theme. Buy cowboy hats and line the insides with fresh flowers and baby’s breath, or buy old cowboy boots at a thrift store and let sunflowers dangle from the tops. Adorn small items on tables with things like sheriff’s badges or replicas of old medicine bottles.

Incorporate your western theme even on the dance floor by using kerosene lamps or lanterns hanging from posts instead of the usual string lighting. You can also hunt through antique shops and flea markets to find old wagon wheels and wooden trellises, which can be lined with wildflowers and rope.

Another original idea for guests to enjoy your western themed wedding is to have a corner of the reception hall set up for photos. Find western clothing at thrift stores or western supply stores. And instead of a dollar dance to raise money for the bride and groom, offer them black and white western photos of themselves to take home as souvenirs. You can pay your own photographer an extra fee to take the photographs.

While planning your western themed wedding, have fun and enjoy. The more fun you have planning your wedding as a couple, the more memories you’ll be making that will last a lifetime.

Kirsten Hawkins is an event planner from Nashville, TN. Visit www.wedding411.net/ for more event planning tips, strategies, and resources.

Never assume you have the wedding reception venue retained unless you have a written contract. At the very least, you must make sure the following things are part of your contract.

Everything that you agree on verbally should become part of the contract between you and your wedding reception venue.

The exact date of your wedding day. The exact time of you event should also be included.

Total cost and itemized rundown of what is included. Be sure to have accessories such as tables, chairs linens, etc. included.

How much decoration is included? What specific decoration is included? If you agreed on specific colors, be sure it is also included.

The date and dollar amount of your deposit and the date of when the total amount due.

The exact location of your event. If they have multiple rooms for events, be sure the name of the room is included in the contract.

Their cancellation or refund policy.

Emergency contact person. You should be provided with name and phone number of the emergency contact person.

Room capacity, to make sure the site accommodates your wedding party.

Contracts are a serious matter. They are legal and binding, so you might want an attorney or a wedding professional review the contract for you before you sign it.

Before signing the contract read it over carefully. Some companies will ask you to pay half of the total amount upon closure of the contract. Others will ask for a down payment. Be prepared with cash, personal check. To protect yourself, try to pay with a credit card. When reading the contract and before signing, find out what your obligations are. If you guests drink a bit too much, find out who would be responsible should anything happen.

Once you made your choice, you need to receive a written contract signed by the person in charge, and dated. The contract must include all of your responsibilities and all of the responsibilities, warranties and guarantees offered by the facility.

Wedding Planning Wedding planning, wedding shopping and bridal advice.

Planning a Great Celebration for the Bride-to-Be

Bachelors have been hitting the bars for stag parties for years. But why should the guys have all the fun? Throwing a bachelorette party for a bride-to-be is a fun way for the bride and her friends to bond and blow off a little steam before the big day. If you’re planning a bachelorette party, there are many fun and original bachelorette party ideas.

What is a Bachelorette Party?

Bachelorette parties have risen in popularity within the last twenty years or so. While the bridal shower is still a traditional event for brides, a bachelorette party is a more laid back celebration. Like a bachelor party, a bachelorette party usually involves a night out with the gals.

Bachelorette Party Ideas: Locations

Bachelorette parties can take place at the home of the bride-to-be or the home of the person throwing the party for her. A hall or meeting room at a hotel can also be rented for the night. Restaurants often have rooms that can be reserved for private parties. You also might choose to take everyone to an event like a movie or a spa. Many bachelorette parties begin in one location and move on to a different location, like a bar, later in the night.

Bachelorette Party Ideas: Styles

The bachelorette party can be naughty or nice, depending on the bride’s preferences and comfort level. Most bachelorette parties include alcohol and many incorporate sexual themes. However, this is the bride-to-be’s night, and while it can be fun to embarrass her a little, you don’t want her to be horrified at the goings on.

Naughty Bachelorette Party Ideas

Hire a male stripper for the party or go to see a male strip show.

When each guest arrives, she writes down a task that the bride must accomplish before the night is over. When the list is complete it is given to the bride. The task list might include things like “get a man to buy you a drink” or “get a man’s phone number.”

Give goody bags to the guests with inexpensive, naughty gifts inside. Many party supply shops and websites carry party favors specifically intended for bachelorette parties

Nice Bachelorette Party Ideas

Head to a spa. All the ladies can enjoy massages and manicures.

Take a tour at a nearby winery and enjoy some winetasting.

Go dancing.

Head to a microbrewery for a tour and to taste the products.

Responsible Bachelorette Party Ideas

Since most bachelorette parties involve alcohol, its necessary to arrange safe transportation for the party guests. A designated driver is one idea, or someone who would not normally be invited to the party, like a male friend. You could also hire a limousine service to carry guests to various watering holes around town. Some choose to charter a bus for the night’s activities, while others use taxis to get around. Even if the bachelorette party does not involve alcohol, using a bus or limo service is a good way to keep guests together and prevent them from getting lost during the evening.

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It is clear there has been a shift away from the traditional form of arranged marriage, involving a matchmaker and formal introductions where the couple meet only after they have been chosen for each other. But there is still a particular approach to marriage in Asian culture worldwide. Marriage is important to young Asians: even in the UK they and their family usually hope they will be married or at least engaged by the age of 30, even though the rest of the population is marrying later and later - or not at all.

While the new generation of Asians has adapted to the lifestyle of their country, they also maintain Asian cultures and traditions, as shown by the approach to their search for a life partner. The majority will still want to settle with an Asian Marriage Partner if possible.

Although few marriages in the Asian community are arranged in the traditional meaning of the word, the extended family remains involved in the search for a life partner - even if they have to resist the urge to take over as matchmaker! The difference now is that young people are given the choice to find love, and meet and get to know each other before making formal family introductions. At this stage the family will consider the suitability of the match before any engagement or wedding is announced.

We now have a second and third generation of Asians who have a balance of cultural understanding that covers both East and West with equal ease. Many communities, for example Telugu and Kerala, have migrated widely but would still prefer a spouse from a similar background. They expect more freedom in their marriage choice, while still respecting the wishes of their elders and family traditions.

However, there is a growing contradiction to this tradition. There are a growing number unmarried after the age of 30, showing how the change in marriage trends has affected Asians. Most of these people are now in good positions and stable employment looking for partners, yet often it is difficult to meet a suitable partner.

There a clear reasons for this: young Asians are more likely to go to university, graduate at 22, find a job and enjoy it. Time passes quickly after the first few years of establishing a career and suddenly you are 30 and still single. Clearly someone who is used to this independence is not about to ask the local Matchmaker to take over the search. Instead they are taking the initiative to find a suitable match themselves, often using the power of the Internet.

Through responsible online matrimonial agencies they find confidential and respectable introductions to like-minded prospective partners of an appropriate religious and ethnic background. Online dating and marriage agencies are no longer the last resort - many attractive and articulate couples meet this way, knowing that the fragmented offline social scene would not otherwise bring them together.

The reputable online marriage and dating agencies offer full confidentiality with the opportunity to select or reject potential partners’ profiles and correspond by email to find out more about each other. They can then choose whether to meet, and what form that meeting should take.

An established agency (usually with a paid subscription) will normally ask clients to state their intentions - marriage or dating - so the young person can meet someone who is serious. This online matchmaker trend is fuelling a fundamental change in Asian marriage traditions.

Adrienne Davis - Find your matchmaker online. Matchmaker Telugu and all Asian weddings, Asian Online Dating. Links to Top Matrimonial and Marriage agencies worldwide. http://www.myasianpartner.com

People who go through the bother and expense of entering into prenuptial agreements, sign the agreement with the expectation that the agreement will be enforceable and will give them the future protection that they seek. Fundamentally, we are talking about a contract between competent adults, which should ordinarily be enforceable and not subject to modification. Unfortunately, prenuptial agreements are routinely attacked at the time when party or the other seeks to invoke its terms.

Clients must therefore understand that contracts for goods or services are different than contracts between married people, or between those who plan to be married. In New Jersey, the New Jersey Supreme Court in the case known as Lepis V. Lepis, created the quintessential loophole, enabling potentially endless modifications of family support provisions, regardless of whether they were ordered by the Court or stipulated to by the parties. The only requirement for this review is a significant and relevant change of circumstances.

Such contract-loosening changes are typically required to be unanticipated, substantial and non-temporary. The powder keg language of Lepis reads as follows: “Contract principles have little place in the law of domestic relations.” That being said, NJ divorce lawyers must pay close attention to five key points.

First, it is important to note that properly drawn prenuptial agreements are given the initial presumption of validity. By “properly drawn” we mean that the parties were independently represented by counsel, that there was no coercion or duress, that there was an appropriate level of financial disclosure, and that the agreement was essentially fair.

At the time of attempted enforcement by one party, the burden of proof for showing that the agreement is somehow unconscionable is borne by the party seeking to avoid enforcement. Otherwise, the prenuptial agreement should be enforced.

Second, a prenuptial agreement will not be considered to be unconscionable unless it can be shown that enforcement of the agreement will result in a standard of living for any party that is “far below that which was enjoyed before the marriage.”

Third, soon after the Supreme Court’s finding in Lepis, clever New Jersey divorce attorneys came up with the idea of incorporating anti-Lepis clauses into their property settlement agreements. This sort of thinking can be applied to the drafting of a prenuptial agreement as well. Such clauses can prevent alimony liabilities, or can ostensibly limit them in the event of divorce. To add yet another level of complexity, the anti-Lepis clause itself can be the subject of a modification motion. As equivocal as this may sound, sometimes these clauses are enforceable, and sometimes they are not.

Fourth, if the objective is to attack an antenuptial agreement at the time of attempted enforcement, the New Jersey divorce lawyer is wise to read the case of Marchall v. Marchall. In Marchall, the Court stated that antenuptial agreements should be regarded as subject to modification by reason of “changed circumstances” in the same manner as property settlement agreements. This statement, however, was only in dictum, and does not fall into the category of binding precedent. Notably, Marchall was only a Trial Court decision, and therefore not binding on the courts of other counties, as an Appellate level or Supreme Court level decision would be. The Marchall decision was also decided four years prior to the adoption of the Uniform Premarital Agreement Act in 1988. Furthermore, the Marchall decision predated the Appellate level decision in Morris v. Morris, which case expressed the teter totter viewpoint that sometimes anti-Lepis clauses are enforceable and sometimes they are not.

Fifth, the case of Pacellii v. Pacelli must also be explored. In Pacelli, a mid-nuptial agreement was involved. This agreement was entered into between the parties some 11 years after their marriage and after having two children. The Appellate Division refused to enforce this agreement. The Appellate panel found that the agreement was unfair when it was entered into in 1986 and likewise unfair when enforcement was sought in 1994. The Court did not believe that such mid-nuptial agreements should be treated the same way antenuptial agreements are treated. The Appellate Division opined that “the dynamics and pressures involved in a mid-marriage context are quantitatively different.”

When a prenuptial agreement is executed under circumstances devoid of coercion or duress and where the requirements of the Uniform Premarital Agreement Act are met, Lepis should not apply, and the agreement should not be modified. The only exception would be under the unconscionability standard of the act. Ironically, that is exactly the same standard that was used for modification of New Jersey matrimonial agreements prior to Lepis, under Schiff v. Schiff. Apparently, sometimes the old ways are the best ways.

This article was written by Curtis J. Romanowski, Esq. of Romanowski Law Offices. Voted “New Jersey Super Lawyer Family Law” for the second consecutive year.

Is it possible to have an easy divorce? A low cost divorce? Or do all divorce settlements necessarily end in hard feelings and financial ruin? The truth is that divorce can be low-cost and easy… or it can be a long ordeal that can drag on for months. No matter how emotional things get, just remember that you always have a choice and that your willingness to negotiate through mediation can help speed up the whole process, thereby minimizing the pain inflicted on your family.

Mediation is a legal process in which a trained, impartial third-party will offer divorce help and support by assisting both parties to reach an agreement. A couple preparing to divorce should not rely solely on a mediator. Rather, the husband and wife should consult their respective attorneys about their specific procedures and legal consequences of the mediation process.

If mediation is not successful, then the case must go to trial. In most cases, it is best to avoid a trial as attorney’s fees, alone, can pile up if delaying tactics are used. Furthermore, studies show that people feel more satisfied with mediated Separation Agreements than with those that are ordered by the court. Finally, since the process is more civil and less emotionally grueling, mediation minimizes any trauma to the children.

Life after divorce can be a fresh new start. Mediation can not only save time and money, but can also reduce emotional and psychological baggage for everyone.

Nathan Dawson writes for http://www.lifeaftermarriage.com a great online source for finance information.